Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I understand Curling. That high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize