He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
