At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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