Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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