Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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