OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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