Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
