I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
