Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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