I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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