But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
