I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
