I hate all girls vehemently.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
