Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
