question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
