I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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