Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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