i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
