If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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