biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I party with great urgency now.
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