does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
