I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
