Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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