Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
