how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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