its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
