your thong is hanging out like whoa
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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