Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
