I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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