so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
