The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
