You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize