Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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