why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
how drunk are you?
Several
wow bdsm is so cute
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
