Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
