I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The power of my boobs compel you
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