Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize