i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
