Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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