Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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