So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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