I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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