oh god the rape fog is back!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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