.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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