Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize