All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
