Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
