i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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