Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I love you.
Bad choice
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