my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
