Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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