i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
