i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
