i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
