Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
