You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
