i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
