Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
