Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize