I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
