my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
