I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
