you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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