I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize