is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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