My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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